You cannot expect to love another human being if you do not love yourself first. Also, If someone does not accept you for who you are, their opinion should not matter in the first place. There are plenty of people who will love you just for being yourself. We all want to be the prettiest, smartest, or the best of everything. However, we are created to be unique in our own ways.
I use to deal with self esteem issues as a teen. I was a skinny girl with full lips, big eyes, and a huge nose. Kids use to make fun of me constantly. I have heard it all, “Big lip bandit, monster nose, twig, etc.” I wore big jackets to cover my body and I used my sleeves to cover my mouth and my nose. You would swear I was trying to fight off a contagious disease or something! I also remember kids constantly placing gum in my hair because I have long and full hair. A kid that was in my 4th grade class made up a rumor saying that I wore wigs and that I chopped them off of a horse. Thinking about this now makes me laugh because children are ridiculous. People in general are ridiculous. Just because I had not looked like everyone else, they felt the need to make me feel like an outcast. I cried all the time.
My mom use to give me advice on how to deal with kids bullying me. After a while she became fed up and told me,”Beat those children up. I am going to teach you how to fight so that you can show those children who’s the boss.” Haha.
From the time I hit puberty, I started catching the attention from guys. However, by my senior year of high school, I started to grow into my facial features and took better care of myself. Guys started noticing me more. I constantly changed my looks and wore a lot of makeup. Although I looked better, I still faced self-esteem issues. I was obviously not confident in how I looked. Over the next two years after my senior year I met two people that helped me deal with these issues.
I dated both of these people for a while. The first guy told me that I should not worry about how I look because I am beautiful. He also told me that I shouldn’t worry about my weight because I was “perfect.” From time to time he would constantly call me beautiful. I was not use to anyone telling me daily that I am beautiful. When I met the second guy, one of the first things he told me were, “I hope you don’t wear makeup because I hate that. You’re beautiful, you don’t need it.” On our first date, he kept staring at me. I asked him why and he said,”You’re beautiful.” Months after dating this guy, I wore less makeup and was confident in looking natural. I still wear eye makeup and I picked up on wearing lipstick, but that’s about it. I don’t do that daily unless I am going to an event. Throughout those months every time I applied makeup he would stare at me and I could tell what was going on in his mind. He looked at me as if I were crazy!
I learned to look at myself in the mirror confidently and accept how I look. I have perfect skin, there was no need to hide it. I was hiding and covering my beauty instead of flaunting it. I did not gain this confidence because I was told to do so, I did it for myself. Also, I realized how much opinions do not matter. Now that I am in my 20’s, I am always receiving compliments on my looks to the point where I am tired of hearing them. Don’t get me wrong, I still smile and say thank you. People fall in love with my full lips and they love how I am tiny, but curvy. I also get told that my eyes are beautiful as well as my hair. Every now and then, I do get someone that wants to pick on my appearance but it does not affect me anymore. I learned to love who I am, therefore their comments are invalid. I do not regret going through those experiences because now, I am able to fall in love with myself daily.
You should never, under any circumstances care for what a human being think about you. No one is better than anyone. We are not placed on this planet to please human beings. Who cares about what a stranger think about you and if someone that you love make you feel less than a person then my advice is to leave them. You are worth more than that and you deserve better. If someone claims to love you, then they will uplift you, motivate, and support you instead of choking you with the dirt that they shove down your throat.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, however when you have something negative to say about my body image or my appearance then your opinion will go in one ear and out the other. I am not a people pleaser and I refuse to listen to any source of negativity.
Embrace your flaws. You’re perfect, keep that in mind.