Hashimoto’s Victim.

I am going over some of the things that I’ve written over the years and I felt like sharing this. Since I was very young, I have dealt with depression and before being diagnosed, I did not understand why I sometimes I would feel depressed. I am naturally a bubbly and happy person, but just like a light switch depression will hit me out of nowhere. I now understand this is one of the symptoms that I face.

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You flip me on and off like a light switch

We are tied until the end of time, or until the end of my time

You control me like an experiment

You are my Dr. Jekyll, and I am your Mr. Hyde

You tweak with my heart until you are satisfied

I am your beautiful disaster 

Your worst, yet favorite creation

Every now and then I learn to smile on my own, but of course it’s not in my manual

There are not enough instructions to understand the way we should be loved

You feel that I should be kept from this feeling

I believe I am close to mastering this task

However, you snap me back into reality

It’s all an illusion to remind me that I cannot be loved the way I want to be loved, or loved at all by any human

You are selfish, but you comfort me when salt water prances around from the inside of my eyes

You are always there when my heart has taken a break

I am brainwashed from the disturbing thoughts you fill into my mind

You are the only thing that is close to love

It’s never easy to walk away from you, but if I must crave for happiness

I can either open the door for you, or knock on suicide’s door

You are depression, and I am your victim

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