The Victim.

Imagine getting up then traveling to a place without a destination. Then, you wake up in a place unknown and all of a sudden every problem or worries you had still followed you.

I had a dream.

Let me begin by apologizing for the hiatus. I’ve been so focused on my life that I forgot about one of the things that made me feel better when I would go through trials. As well as those that I have inspired on here.

Every once in a while a strong person will have a weak moment. What makes us special is as long as we get back up, we keep fighting.

Tonight I had a dream. In the first part, I got on a bus assuming that I was going home. As the minutes passed, each sign was a city that was north from my home. When we finally reached Georgia, I asked everyone where is this heading? No one had an answer.

When the bus finally stopped, I tried to reach my loved ones to tell them I’m in another state. When I reached a certain person, my phone fell then broke into pieces. A part of me had no desire to go back anyway. I also have no desire to speak to that person ever again. So instead, I got off the bus and ate at the diner.

I then went to a neighborhood because I wanted to explore the area. Here’s where the jokes come in and don’t laugh at me guys but I faced a giant toy monster. That’s when I became a power ranger and fought this monster. I am being serious guys. Now with all jokes aside, no matter how much I tried to fight him I had no strength. I was slow and I ran out of breath. However, I never stopped fighting until I won.

The message:

With everything that’s been happening with my life, I have been longing to go on vacation or run somewhere far from my problems. I keep so much bottled on the inside because I don’t like to focus on my problems. It gets to a point where all of these problems pile up to my breaking point. With the monster, the monster represented Hashimotos Thyroiditis. I’ve been trying my best to fight this disease, often alone.

No matter how much I try, no one will understand what I go through. No matter how much I write about this, people will always be ignorant towards Thyroid Disease. I will always face people who will never care to understand. I felt like I did not matter so every problem that I faced whether it was brain fog, slurred speech, memory loss, chronic pain, change of appetite, change of facial appearance, etc. I had to fight even harder to make myself seem like I will eventually be okay and to please everyone. That was a mistake.

I am not a people pleaser, I am not normal, and I am a victim of Hashimotos Thyroiditis and Hypothyroidism.

I accept the things that I cannot change.

In your eyes you do not see the battle that I fight. Just because I look okay does not mean I am fine. I am not sick weekly, monthly, or once in a blue moon. I am sick every day for the rest of my life. As much as I smile and pretend everything is okay, it is my choice to remain positive because at the end of the day this is my battle and I refuse to give up. I do not choose to waste my breath to those who are ignorant about Thyroid Disease. I am here to inspire and share my story. There are millions who have not been diagnosed and thousands left untreated. This is not the good kind of cancer or the best kind of illness. This is not a contract that I signed up for. Every day I am fighting for the rest of my life to at least feel normal. There are days when I would look in the mirror and cry because I wouldn’t recognize my face. But I would tell myself to love that woman no matter what because it will get better.

And I have gotten much better than how I use to be. Most of my symptoms pay a visit once in a while instead of daily now. I don’t pass out as much as I use to. But of course, because I am telling you this, in your minds I am no longer sick.

Wrong. I am a victim of Hashimotos for the rest of my life and I will fight this battle. That’s the reality of it all.

Always keep the faith alive and never stop fighting.

– Cryssie ❤

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