When you pick up a habit, it becomes a routine. At this point in my life I am content. I look forward to my time with the Lord.
For a whole month I have been on a people fast. I do this a couple of times in a year so that I can focus on myself and God. Of course I will see and speak to my loved ones, but throughout the day I will shut off my phone so that I will not be distracted. Often we become so engaged in our daily routines and caught up handling multiple tasks all at once that we forget about what matters the most. I have always been the kind of person who puts others before me. A few years ago I decided to take time out away from people so that I can practice self love.
During these times I am able to step back and just breathe. I am at peace while I am being molded into the woman that God has made me to be. I want to express the blessings that are being poured out on me at the moment, but I will save that for another post. The only relationship that matters to me is the relationship between me and The Lord. I would be so busy with my own life that I forget to work on this relationship. Often thanking Him and becoming overly greedy asking for more than the portion He’s given me that I forget to know more about Him. He would constantly tap on my shoulder asking to have a one on one, but I would not give Him more than five minutes out of my day. So, He knew how to get my attention again. I am learning to listen to his voice more than I have before, trusting and having faith, and cutting off anything that is not God like. Every day I will spend hours listening to podcasts by Heather and Cornelius Lindsey, watch sermons, read scriptures that pertain to areas that I need to work on, listen to worship music, and simply speak to the Lord. Joel Osteen is another one of my favorite ministers as well as my pastor, Troy Gramling.
I no longer wish to be around anyone that is not meant to be in my life. The other day an old classmate came out of the blue and he does this yearly. He realized I’m now single so he asked to hang out. Now, I asked God before I responded to him, “How can I turn him down without sounding mean?” After a while I told him, “I do not hang out with random men. I am also focusing on my relationship with the Lord and although I am single, I do not wish to waste my time on anyone that is not for me.” I also no longer have interest in anything that is not God like, such as drinking alcohol. I figured there was a reason as to why I could no longer tolerate one drink anymore. I would become sick and throw up from just one drink. I didn’t understand why because I have always been the one to handle a wasteful amount of alcohol. I also forgot that I have to take better care of my health. Alcohol contains an abundance amount of gluten. I cannot consume gluten because of Hashimotos Thyroiditis. I made it official to stay away from clubs. Two years ago I remember having a panic attack because I did not feel right in a certain club. It was my friend’s birthday and I felt bad if I were to cancel. From that moment I knew one day that I had to officially cut it off. Lastly, I am sticking to my vow and staying celibate until marriage. In my earliest posts, I have written on how I fought temptation and the story on how I have always wanted to wait until marriage every since I was a teenager. Temptation and manipulation slipped into my bed three years ago that broke my vow, but that is a story I am currently writing. I’ve practiced celibacy a few times afterwards but I know in order for me to stick to this vow, I must be strong and stick to my word. That does not mean I do not know how to have a great time, there are lots of things out there to do for fun. I am attending the biggest Christian spoken word poetry event next month. One of my favorite poets will be there! Unfortunately, I cannot attend this year’s Pinky Promise conference, but I am definitely attending the annual Gathering Oasis Reserved singles retreat. They also have a Heart of Marriage retreat every year for married couples! Check it out.
Two years ago, I knew that I would no longer become interested in the activities that I used to do and I will lose certain people in my life. Fast forwarding today, those same people I was told would no longer be around had to be cut off for reasons I will not discuss. What I can say is that misery loves company and your company is a reflection of yourself.
1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be mislead: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”
Types of Company to Be Aware Of:
1. Be careful of those that cheer whenever you fail and do not cheer when you have accomplished something.
– I have a friend that is happy for me no matter what it is. It’s in her character as well as mine. We are happy when those we love are happy.
2. Backstabbers. This is self explanatory. You do not need these people in your life at all! Let them go and pray for them.
3. Complainers. These people will have an affect on you. I know you’re thinking, “Not everyone is perfect and you can actually help someone who complains.” All I am saying is again, those who complain WILL HAVE AN EFFECT ON YOU. They’re miserable all the time and they don’t know how to be happy. I cannot be around someone who doesn’t know how to appreciate their life. Again, misery loves company. These are the type of people that will go into a restaurant and say that their food is too cold, so when you warm it up they will say it’s too hot. They’re never satisfied. Pray for them. Moving on.
4. Negative people tie with complainers. This is pretty much self explanatory, but these are the people who bring you down all the time. They make you feel worthless and always criticize you. You don’t need anyone like that in your life. I tried being friends with so many negative people as I would try to change their perspective. After a while I realized it’s their character and you cannot help someone who love being in their comfort zone. You just can’t win with them, so what I advise is to take a scissor and cut… them… out!
5. People who talk to you when they’re bored. I had a few people in my past that I rarely saw or spoke to. One person even admitted that the only reason why she would speak to me is because she was bored. HUH?! I have no idea when I became an entertainer and that is something I cannot entertain. Also, there’s always that one person that makes plans with you but will cancel last minute because they choose to hang out with someone else. Or, their plans are cancelled and you are literally the last option. I mean the bottom of their priorities. As in they would rather stay home alone if they have to rather than hanging out with you. *Hands you a scissor* Cut them out.
6. I don’t know if I’m the only one who deals with this, but be cautious of those who disappear. They completely stopped talking to you as if they fell off the map. They leave no traces of their existence except when you see them on social media. This is when you just have to be honest about yourself and know that this person isn’t brave enough to cut ties with you. Not too long ago one of my best friends disappeared on me. She’s done this a few times in my past. I would be patient with her and try to get something out of her. Not everyone will go the same routes and unfortunately our road together had to split. I’m not mad at her, more disappointed but I saw this coming.
I’m a really nice person but I refuse to allow anyone tear me down. Jealous friends included. I’ve had numerous people who would try to break up my friendships or relationships because they were jealous. We are supposed to build each other up, not tear each other down like enemies. Although I prefer to not have anyone negative in my life, I learned how to love from a distance. Meaning I am always here for those who were once in my life no matter what, including those who have hurt me. I forgave them. I have a big heart and I cannot be like those who walk around with hatred in their heart. So if they need advice or lost someone, I am always around with an open arm. I had to learn to accept this is just who I am.
This journey is not meant to be easy, but I am a warrior. God will not place anything in my life that I cannot handle. I still have fun and I am loving this discipline. I cannot be who I am if I am not honest with myself. I have a few posts that I have in mind and I cannot wait to share some them with you all. I’m going to finally create videos for this blog on topics such as this one. But everything will be done one step at a time.