“It’s my money and I need it NOW!”
Before I start acting out this commercial, I just want to write about something that’s been heavy on my heart for a while now. Over the past few months I’ve been tested on my patience. I prayed for this and because I want to prove God right, I’ve passed every test that was thrown my way. I also realized that God places certain people in my life as a lesson.
As human beings we are never satisfied. We want to go from point A to B without taking the first step. The fast lane is not always the best lane. There will be tests and you’ll go through trials. I know that dream seems amazing to you now, but maybe God have something better in store for you. Success does not happen over night.
Earlier this year I prayed to have a better job because I did not like my previous job. Although I said I trusted God, being completely honest it was not a walk in faith. Instead I was walking in fantasy. I wanted a 9-5, I wanted more money, and I wanted to be in an office.
I tried to control my own life by quitting my old job and going into the Mortgage Loan Originator field. God never told me to do this, but I did anyway. Every morning I used to say these exact words, “Lord I trust that you lead and guide me to the right path. If this is not meant for me, then I completely understand.”
Luke 12: 29-31
And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.
Did I really trust Him? After taking my exam, I failed. I was unemployed. I saw this coming, God told me that this was not His plan for me. I needed to learn as well as grow in my walk in faith. I became unemployed, not only that but I also had to let go of a few people that were in my life. My relationship ended as well. I spent a whole month crying as if my life was about to end. I knew this had to happen the moment I felt my relationship with God wasn’t as strong as it used to be. I also had a dream that my relationship would end a week before it did. I needed to spend time alone, so that is exactly what I did. I learned how to listen to His voice more.
Pain is temporary. Always get back up and keep moving. I put all of my trust in Him and focused on what I needed to. I no longer plan my days around the Lord. I wake up and ask what is it that he needs me to do and if He needs to use me in someone’s life. In less than a month after being unemployed, I was finally able to pass my driving test, finance my first car, and now I am employed as front desk at a hotel. The only thing is, I wanted a full time job and to be paid more than what I am used to. Am I worried about this? No. I am grateful for my portion. If it’s not meant for me now, then I will be patient. Maybe I need to be part time so that I can continue my education. Or so that I won’t end up sitting in my doctor’s office again because I overworked myself. I probably need to be disciplined on not focusing on what’s in my bank account. He told me that I need to spend more time with my family because when I worked full time, I barely saw them! I also got back into my church and officially cut off everything that was not God like. I cut off my bondage from people, which I am glad because now there are those who look at me crazy because I took this step further in my walk with Christ. I don’t run on the world’s time because if you miss a second, you’re late but God tells me that it’s never too late because everything will work out on His timing. His timing is the best timing!
I was told that I should continue writing my book. I stopped writing it years ago out of fear. So far I’m doing pretty well as I spend time daily writing my story. As far as my patience I am being tested daily on this. I’m unbothered.
My point in writing this is we all have desires, but will you continue to trust God even when you don’t clearly see His plans for you? Will you continue to praise Him on bad days as much as you praise Him on the good? Don’t become discouraged about what you cannot see. Having faith means that you trust what you cannot see. Having faith means there is no plan B because you trust Him enough to bring you where you need to be. A lot of us are not living by faith, but by fantasy. Are you willing to pass these tests? Let Him do His job. What you think you want isn’t necessarily what you need.
Psalms 119: 93
I will never neglect your instruction, because by them you have kept me alive.