Hey everyone! Quick love tip when it comes to loving others:
Before you go ahead and tear someone down because you’re in a bad mood, pause and reflect. You don’t know what that person is also going through. You can avoid conflicts if you would control that sharp tongue of yours!
A gentle tongue is a tree of life,
but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
Someone could have lost a loved one, planning on committing suicide, failed an exam, lost everything they owned, or whatever is the case. Yet, here you are spreading vile words and adding on to their stress. It’s unnecessary.
Proverbs 15 talks about controlling your tongue. Verse 4 says: “A gentle tongue is a tree of life,
but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” I love going back to remind myself that sometimes not every action needs a reaction. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” I used to have a VERY sharp tongue. I would cut, dice, and slice you with it. Thank God I’m no longer like that because I’ve avoided so many conflicts by just shutting up. You never know what anyone is going through.
At my job, my position is basically running the entire hotel at night by myself and I do the accounting. I even set up breakfast for the kitchen mamma. She used to come into work at 5a.m. and cuss me out if I didn’t set it up correctly. I will never forget the last time she did that because I had just got a fever and I was running around all night with zero energy. I wanted to cry because I wasn’t feeling well. I had to finish paperwork and deliver our guests’ bills to their doors! I used to look at her like she done lost her marbles. Who comes into work looking for a fight at 5a.m?!
But you know what, I flipped my perspective and thought about how she must feel. She must be dealing with personal issues in her life. I prayed for her. Instead of talking back to her, I just ignored her because it wasn’t worth adding onto the fire. Now she comes into work happy to see me and goes about her business.
My love language is through acts of service. If I see that she didn’t put an item for me to set up such as lemons for the tea, or blueberries for the waffle toppings, I would go out of my way and cut them up for her and put the blueberries in a bowl. She would come up to me and thank me then tell me how she was too tired to do it the day before. She appreciates that I go an extra mile just to help her out.
As someone who used to have a fresh attitude, here are a few tips on how I stopped.
1. If you need to, take a deep breath and walk away. Give yourself some time to cool down.
2. Go before the Lord about it. I used to ask for help and guidance on how to control my tongue. He will definitely help you. Be ready for those tests!
3. Don’t take it personal. Place yourself in that people’s shoes. Often people who are negative are the people who need love the most.
4. Don’t add onto the fire. You need to de-escalate the situation. Try asking someone how their day is going. You might understand why they are grumpy.
5. I started to encourage others. Tell someone you are proud of them or you love them! Seeing other people smile makes my day a bit better. I know how weird it must be and they may look at you crazy, but it will definitely warm their heart.
6. Pause and reflect. The more you cut someone, the more they feel low about themselves. That person could be planning on committing suicide. I’ve had suicidal thoughts and attempts. I’ve dealt with people who would tear me down when I already had a bad life. “I am being abused at home, yet you’re over here telling me rubbish about how you don’t like me? Oh okay, thanks maybe I’ll just take my life away.” Guys it’s not worth it!
Let’s learn to love people better. It’s not worth tearing anyone down and ruining your ministry. ❤