I am battling an illness that limits my lifestyle, however it does not put a limit on the power of God.
While 20 million people are battling with Thyroid Disease, 60% are unaware. There is a high rate of depression for African American women, yet we are raised to be conquerors. Most of you are wondering what Thyroid Disease is about, and while I would love to go in depth about this illness there are plenty of wonderful blogs that explain these conditions, such as Hypothyroid Mom and the SpoonTheory. My job is to encourage, empower, and motivate those who are on the verge of losing hope.
I always say you never know what anyone is going through, so it is important to constantly cover people with prayer. For those who don’t know, I opened up about my life and the challenges I faced through my blog as well as in my book, “A Sense of Hope.” One of the hardest to open up about was the topic on battling Thyroid Disease (Hypothyroidism & Hyperthyroidism) as well as Hashimotos Thyroiditis. I have learned not only about myself, but people. People who would turn their backs on me when I needed them the most. Those who did not care to understand this condition. Also, those who simply judged me due to my symptoms. I encourage anyone who is losing hope to read it. For those people who have turned their backs on me, as crazy as this sounds… I don’t wish for sympathy. I learned to not look towards anger but to be more compassionate.
A slight jab to the chest is how it felt whenever someone tell me that I don’t look or act sick. To them it wasn’t serious because I appear to be fine (I no longer bother trying to figure out what normal is supposed to look like). No one see what I have to face when I am alone or how much I have to pray quietly while I am in front of others when all of a sudden I am having a thyroid storm so I just have to keep holding on and get it together. No one notices how I constantly space out because of the brain fogs and how much I am shaking uncontrollably. Or how I can’t hold a conversation and if I do, my words would slur and eventually my brain would be a blur again. No one is there when I have to fight daily to get up. The depression; how my tired is not the normal tired others feel. It’s like constantly feeling as if you are running a nonstop race. Then, not being able to get up because you are now going through vertigo. I don’t know about you, but I have to pray before and after I drive because I never know when I’ll pass out behind the wheel while driving. That does not seem fine. As I have said, cover people with prayer because we need it the most. You never know what anyone is facing.
The difference between me from when I was first diagnosed then and now, is I know that my Father is a healer. When I say my strength comes from the Lord, I mean it. I am battling an illness that limit my lifestyle, however it does not put a limit on the power of God. The moment He wakes me up, He encourage me to get up and do what He called me to do! He is turning all of this for His good. It amazes me how He called me to do something that requires an abundance amount of strength I don’t have. An author and a speaker! Have I mentioned I have brain fog, I space out, cannot concentrate, and my words slur?!!
Again, it is all for His glory. It’s not about me! I am able to write and speak about the power of God through my testimony. I have met incredible women who are also facing similar battles. I like to call ourselves warriors. As much as I cry when I am not well I know this is a temporary battle that’s not mine. The Lord promised a future for us, so I cling onto these promises. Where we are going, there are no sickness.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I refuse to be that young woman who was in bed for 3 months straight at one point in my life because I needed to heal. This does not go for those who are fighting for their lives in a hospital bed. I am talking to those who are sitting in darkness with little hope. I threw pity parties because I was scared and had no faith! I thought about the what if’s and the worst case scenarios. How I badly want a family, yet I was afraid I would not be able to produce. I thought my life meant that I could not do a thing. In Matthew 8:26 Jesus told His disciples “You of little faith, why are you afraid?”
He did not give us a spirit of fear. In fact, we know exactly where that spirit came from and you know what? Return it to the sender and tell him that there is power in God’s name alone, He is a healer, and no weapons formed against you shall prosper! I agree, it’s not easy. But you know what? We can do all things through Christ which gives us strength (Philippians 4:13).
How do I do it? I believe in the power of prayer. I would place one hand where my thyroid is located then the other on my forehead. I would say a prayer of healing. I always tell the Lord I don’t know what to do but I will forever praise Him. I pray for strength daily. He is always there to hear my prayers or to give me comfort when I come crying to Him. Most days, I forget because my focus is shifted to praising Him through the good & bad.I learned to listen to my body and would never push myself past anything I cannot handle, such as not resting. Resting is very important and I am thankful for those in my life who remind me I need to rest. I also watch out for the foods that trigger my thyroid and my immune system. As well as my health plan. Taking care of your body is essential.
Limited? Yeah right! I am having the time of my life traveling, serving the Lord, spending time with my family, and I am able to work without having to take months off to recover. I smile more than ever and I am fearless. I am courageous, and I am bold.
Job is one of my favorite stories in the bible. I admire his obedience although he grew frustrated with himself and with God. Although he remained obedient after losing everything, he grew depressed after time.He began to question God and if He was truly listening to him. Aren’t we the same way? His story reminds me of the things I have gone through, including past friendships. In Chapter 30 v. 25 & 26, it sounds a lot like the cries I have said:
Did I not weep for those in trouble? Was I not deeply grieved for the needy? So I looked for good, but evil came instead. I waited for the light, but darkness fell.
We are all fighting a battle no one knows about. Through it all, he was patient. He continued to worship and endured his hardships. I know it’s easier said than done, believe me I know. But if it were easy, we would not need God! Jesus came for the sick, not for those who are healthy. He came to those who need Him, not those who are proud. So while I receive questions on if I ever ask why? I say why not? My flesh is weak, but it does not belong to me. My faith is strong and I will continue to be a warrior. I won’t give up this fight.You are strong, you are beautiful, and you were created in God’s image. Look at how far you’ve gotten. Someone out there need you and your testimony to keep going. Don’t give up, warriors. ❤
Never stop fighting.